I blame Thomas*

So there I am, minding my own business at my carrel in the library. I'm prepping for my negotiation class and going over an assignment for the class before that. My friend Katelyn comes running over to my carrel to tell me that John Cougar Mellencamp and Meg Ryan are apparently at the Bakehouse (a local cafe), and do I want to go see them? "Naw," I say. "I need to get more work done before class."

She says, "Seriously?"

"Yeah, I've got to prep for this negotiation."

COME ON, she says. WHEN ARE YOU EVER GOING TO GET TO SEE MEG RYAN, she says. I HAVE MY CAR HERE COME OOOOOON, she says. Okay. We run.

Down the library stairs, out the law school, down the street to her car. We zip over to the square, find a parking spot RIGHT across the street. Awesome. The "Don't Walk" hand is already lit up, but the light is turning yellow. "We can make it," she says. We run. I catch some imperfection in the pavement with my shoe, some crack in the pavement or lump in the sidewalk, do the old cartoonish giant slapping steps while trying to catch my very off-kilter balance, and I eat it, hard, in front of a wall of cars, in the middle of the cross walk. She picks me up, while the car occupants surely snicker, and we get across the street. We (I) limp into the Bakehouse, unsure of injuries.

Meg Ryan and The Coug have already left. Maybe 20 minutes ago. Shit.

My left palm is blue and tender, my right knee is a little scuffed up and purple, and my left knee is purple and red and missing many, many layers of skin. All of the material that ripped out of the right knee of my jeans worked its way right into my shredded knee, giving the abrasion an odd blue denim ring. Awesome. That's the last fucking time I try to see Meg Ryan ( because screw The Coug, am I right?).

*Thomas, though not the culprit who peer pressured me into celebrity chasing, is apparently the source that discovered the presence of The Coug and Meg Ryan out in public in my little town and spread the knowledge amongst my friends. Thus, to blame for my injuries.