Today will probably not wind up in my memoirs

-spent two hours at the gym

-ate a lot of leftover pizza, you know, to get rid of the temptation

-procrastinated on a writing assignment

-napped

-worried about the procrastination

-comforted myself that I'd get everything done

-discovered a cracked netflix dvd in the mail because mailman apparently got pissed that I didn't pick up my mail for a whole day and jammed today's mail in on top

-dragged myself into school to try to focus

-ate an orange pepper and some snap peas to compensate for the pizza

-spent most of the time at school staring at a squirrel working on her nest outside the window

-checked the forecast and decided I'd better walk home before the storm came

-watched Notting Hill for background noise while working/procrastinating

-cleaned my laptop screen and keyboard with alcohol and qtips

-ate more pizza

-wrote a few sentences on the paper, which is good enough for today

Birds and bees, ahead of schedule

My four-year-old nephew is sitting on an old butcher's block, and it's pushed up close to my living room table. He's got a bowl of oyster crackers and some colby cheese. My coffee table has lots of shelves, and he's poking around in them. There are coasters, magazines, a back massager, all sorts of things. My mom and a couple of my brothers are all chatting, occasionally answering queries from the nephew about what all this funny stuff is at Aunt Michelle's house. He interrupts us and asks, "What's that?"

I look at what he's pointing to. It's a condom package (unopened) that's been randomly/strategically tossed onto a coffee table shelf. I start laughing. I'm the only one on this side of the table that can see what he's pointing to. I mean, duh, it's obviously something good. Shiny plastic wrapper, bold letters all over it, interesting contents, surely. My brother happily investigates, showing it around. We're all laughing, and nephew joins in. Laughing is fun! He asks, "What's in there?" I'm still cracking up because I don't care at all, and mom says, "I don't know, Simon. Maybe it's candy!" And I say, "Hey Simon, do you like this kind of crackers?" Easily distracted, he says, "Oh yeah!" Thank goodness.