On mullet watch

My little studio apartment overlooks a small courtyard, and on the other side of the courtyard is a building that's probably 10 stories of apartments. My building is only 6 stories, and I live on the top floor (holla). Right next to the building across the way is a small hostel/hotel. There are hardly ever any guests, but when there are, there tends to be a whole bunch of them. I live really close to the biggest covered stadium in Auckland, so when big acts come (U2, for instance) (EDIT: blecht. U2. That's for Josh), this little neighboring hotel seems to get a good crowd. Which brings me to last week. Metallica in concert for two nights. People go wild here for big acts because not so many hugely-famous bands come here, let alone the wet dream of every metalhead, Metallica. I think Tool is coming here in February, and people are already acting pumped about it.

So there's a bunch of commotion outside my window, and I peer down at the backyard/patio of the hotel. Mullets. Tons of them. AC/DC, Metallica, and Tool t-shirts are the only acceptable form of clothing. The bladders from boxes o wine are removed from the boxes, and they're being drunk like the olden days when wine actually was kept in some sort of animal's organ and drunk from a spigot. There is some sort of drinking game/ritual which involves one mullet trying to drink from the bag while another mullet slaps it as hard as he can. I do not get this. Good booze is being spilled, you animals! And by good booze, I obviously mean the cheapest wine you can buy.

I get bored watching them just smoke and drink and slap, so I go about my business. Then about 10 minutes later, one of them is screaming at others to GET DOWN FROM THERE YOU ASSHOLES YOU'RE GOING TO GET US KICKED OUT OF HERE WHAT THE FUCK GET DOWN. So I go peek out the window, and two of the mullets have climbed up a fire escape onto the roof of another building. They tucked some beers and liquor into their pants, and apparently planned to just hang out on the steep roof of an adjacent building. The climbing mullets are all, "What's your problem, dude? We're just hanging out. Why are you angry?" Screamy mullet is all I'M NOT ANGRY. I'M JUST SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU GUYS.

To add to the fun, there's a girl with them outside, and she is gagging. She's standing out there on the porch with them, gagging into the grass, trying not to throw up. She throws up a little. Then she has a good healthy glug of beer, because that'll help you stop gagging! More beer! Then more gagging. Repeat. The guys all make puking noises. You know, just trying to help!

I'm sad I won't be here for a repeat show of stupid antics when Tool gets here! Not.